I Had No Idea

Holy shit.

I’m doing some research about becoming a TV staff writer — and some of the career paths that have worked for others. Then I came across this:

Typical salary ranges:
■ Writing assistants: $600-$900 a week
■ Script coordinators: $1000-$1200 a week
■ Staff writers: About $2800 a week
■ Story editors: About $5000 a week

Freelance-episode script minimums
(as of February 2008):
■ 30-minute cable: $12,000
■ 60-minute cable: $22,000
■ 30-minute network: $21,500
■ 60-minute network: $31,700

Wow. That’s a lot more than I thought it would be.

I just want to write because I love it. It’s nice to know I can make a good living at it too.

My Two Brains Disagree

I have two brains. One’s in my head; the other, in my heart.

One uses reason, logic, rationality. The other relies on intuition, understanding, and insight. The first only knows what it’s been taught and has already learned. The second sometimes receives spiritual guidance and, somehow, knows the future before it can happen. It knows how to make sure life is meaningful and fulfilling; on purpose.

This morning, the two brains aren’t in agreement. I’m trying to decide what to do about my education. I’m graduating in May — less than a year away — and if I want to go to graduate school, now is a good time to apply and settle on a place.

Caught with My Pants Down

Gosh, it’s getting kinda drafty in here.

Recently I made a public announcement that I’m going to be a writer. And I’m not just talking. I’m doing. I’m serious. I’m taking active steps to follow my dream.

And suddenly, I feel naked.

I have lots of dreams … lowercase “d” dreams. Things I’d love to do that would probably be very fulfilling. Things I’ve wanted to do and fantasized about for years.

But there’s something different about this dream.

Are You Serious?

After posting my last two blogs (I’m a crazy writing machine today!), I was heading home from campus. Along the way, I passed by four people — two couples — practicing a dance. I love watching people dance, so I stopped for a moment and watched from the side.

One of them was clearly the instructor. He gave instructions to his female dance partner, and she followed well. The other couple, also a guy and a girl, were just off to the side.

Then the instructor stopped and gathered everyone together. He went to the other guy and asked him something.

“I have an important question,” he said. “It may not sound like much, but it really makes all the difference.”

The young man listened.

“Are you just interested in this, or is this something you really, really want to do?” asked the instructor. He spoke kindly and sincerely. It was an honest question, no judgment involved.

The student didn’t seem to understand the difference.

So the instructor clarified, “Is this something you just want to try once or twice, see how you like it … or is this something you know you definitely want to do?”

I knew exactly what he meant.

At this moment, I continued walking. I had a bus to catch. But those words echoed in my head.

I had just written about how much I wanted to focus on writing. Was I “just interested” or “really, really wanted to do” this? I imagined myself being asked that, by the same instructor. My response?

“Neither.”

This answer came immediately, without thought or hesitation.

“I have to do this,” I replied.

Then I thought how this was probably God (or the “Universe”) speaking to me. Was this something I really wanted to do, or something I was just interested in? I learned, for myself, that yes — this is something I really, really want to do. Something I have to do.

I’m honest with myself. If I didn’t honestly think or feel that way, I wouldn’t answer that way. (I might not publicly admit it at first, though.) But I answered, immediately and clearly, no doubts. Yes, this is something I have to do.

I’m in the cafeteria eating a quick dinner right now. But I had to jot this down. Sorry if there’s any typos or misspellings. I’m writing in a rush. But I just had to write it…

Love,
David

My Decisions (Work in Progress)

Before the dust settles and I fall back into old habits, I want to explore some thoughts and ideas.

Now that I’m 100% making my own decisions, I want to take stock of my life and see where I want to go from here…

Relationships

I’m open to a great relationship. Heck, even just a really fun one. But right now, I’m not actively looking. My biological urge for sex and my emotional/spiritual urge to connect are strong. But I don’t feel I’m really ready for a relationship right now. And, possibly, new decisions might include meaningful life changes. Where I live, what I’m doing, etc. I don’t want to put anyone through that uncertainty.

School

I honestly feel I’m largely wasting my time here. I’m learning very little. What I am learning I could learn quickly, easily, and cheaply on my own. Right now, it’s socially and financially beneficial for me to stay in school. And I’m only a year away from completing my B.A. So, for now, I’m continuing.

I don’t know about graduate school. I’m exploring some options.

Business

I need a break from business and the whole entrepreneurial thing. I will continue to develop Super Powers Unlimited, because it gives me joy to, but I’m not going to stress and super-focus on making it super successful super fast.

I will not be involved in any other business ventures, partnerships, or opportunities at this time.

Writing

I will continue writing — both personal blogs and creative fiction. I will continue exploring screenwriting. I feel I have a strong talent for writing and storytelling. More than that, I want to share this gift/talent with the world. I want to work on a creative team with other writers. Currently, ideally, I’d like to be a staff writer on a sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and/or superhero television show. I’d enjoy writing a comedy, too.

Long-Term Career Possibilities

I am not interested in and/or currently not pursuing the following career options, which have been strongly and/or frequently suggested to me before: Catholic priest, any kind of priest, college professor, high school teacher, elementary school teacher, truck driver, enlist in the military, retail management, computer or tech support, psychologist, life coach, business owner, etc.

I am, however, currently interested in and pursing the following career options: feature film writer, television writer, and book/novel writer.

Florida

I do not intend to stay here long. I want to move back to Los Angeles or San Diego. I am considering other locations as well for various reasons. But California is currently at the top of the list.

…

Learning to Trust Myself

I don’t want to point fingers or name names, but I was taught not to trust my own decision-making skills.

Not that I ever made any decisions that were that bad. (I could’ve done MUCH worse.) And the authority figures in my life were really, ultimately, just doing what they believed was in my best interest. After all, they had more knowledge and experience, so I should trust them when they advised me on what decisions to make. Particularly when it came to the bigger, more important life decisions. Relationships. Career. Religion. Stuff like that.

New Standards

It’s time to take my life to the next level.

First, start with the end in mind. Always know where you’re going. You have to see and know your target to hit it.

These are the areas:

Explore

I need to explore new places from time to time. This can include a casual walk through the woods or a cross-country road trip to a destination I’ve never been to before. Exploring is an essential part of my soul. I also explore the areas of psychology, spirituality, creativity, and other places of mind and soul — but physical exploration is also a necessary ingredient to a fulfilling life.

Powerful

I want to be powerful. I want to be in a position of power. I want the ability to move events, inform the masses, and positively influence lives on a large scale. I want the power to create change and I want to use my power in positive ways that benefit all of us.

Creative

I must be creative. This is an absolute, non-negotiable, certified standard and essential requirement. There’s lots of ways to be creative — writing, podcasting, designing a website, creating a game, painting, playing piano, and so on. I enjoy them all. But no matter what, I must be creative and produce into the real world what previously only existed in my mind, heart, and imagination.

Nature

I must live in, near, and around nature. Particularly — mountains, moving water, and greenery.

Relationship

I need an intimate, romantic relationship with someone special, someone I trust. I need a relationship that feels safe, one that doesn’t hurt. I need a relationship that’s a happy, positive experience for the both of us. One built on trust, comfort, respect, and unconditional love. One with physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual intimacy, connection, health, and growth.

Healthy Foods

I must eat and enjoy healthy, living foods. Organic, whole foods. Fruits, vegetables, salads, raw nuts, fresh juices, green juices, and more. I want to be a raw organic whole foods vegan. I want to eat this way because it makes me feel healthy, alive, energized, and happy. My memory is sharper, I can feel myself think clearer, my energy is greater and lasts longer, and my body just feels really good overall.

Inspire Others

I want to help inspire other people to be self-actualized and reach and live their dreams. I want to help people not just “feel” happy temporarily — but BE and LIVE happy. I want people to reach for their dreams and realize them, because I truly believe, when they do we all win. I want to touch people emotionally and spiritually in a positive, powerful, and life-transforming way. I want to move people emotionally, be encouraging and empowering, and all rise to success and fulfillment together.

Mystic

I need to connect with and experience God and the supernatural. I feel like I’m “home” whenever I’m close to God or in the midst of that powerful, life-transforming, soul healing unconditional love energy. I love to explore, to experience, to understand, to know all about the spiritual world and spiritual life. I want to connect to and be close with the Source, the Divine Creator, the One Beyond the Many, the Agape.

Play Bigger

It’s time to play life at a higher level, on a larger scale, in a bigger way. I want to always be growing, always expanding, always creating, reaching out, doing more, being more, touching more lives, making a bigger and more positive impact on the world I share.

Dance

I love dancing to electronica dance music. It’s more like “jumping around to a beat” than “dancing”, but I have fun just the same. I love it. I wanna include more dancing to awesome music in my life. Listening to it and jamming out at other times and places is a good thing, too.

Be Challenged

Don’t wish for an easy life.

Don’t wish for no problems.

Instead, wish for a challenge worthy of who you are.

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This is something my creative writing teacher taught us. She said that when she was younger, she used to wish people “good luck” — but now, she says to them, “I wish your challenges be worthy of you.”

Amazing

Production Day was fantastic.

There were challenges and problems, delays and difficulties…as to be expected with any multimedia production. We had scheduled to film for 5 different commercials, but weather and personnel issues postponed two of them. The other three are going to come out great!

I’ll definitely upload them here when they’re all edited and done.

Something amazing happened yesterday.

I discovered a whole new side to me.

Accidental Fulfillment

To find your own way is to follow your bliss. This involves analysis,
watching yourself and seeing where real deep bliss is — not the quick
little excitement, but the real deep, life-filling bliss.

When you follow your bliss, doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors —
and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.

-Joseph Campbell

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Nine months ago, I followed my bliss. It was a simple, natural, unassuming decision. I had no grand plans out of it. I never imagined it’d bring me to where I am today.